Guys Guide | How to Plan the Ultimate Date

Take it from a girl that has been on hundreds of dates, whether in a long term relationship or just something casual, a first date is important. So that means it’s important to do it right. People judge a lot of relationship dynamics from the very first date, it’s how you spot a disaster or the one. So what’s the best advice for THE date? You know the one. The one you don’t want to totally overthink before anything has even begun.

But before I advise you on anything further, make sure you are definitely in fact on a date. You would be surprised about how confusing some people can be. Nothing is more disappointing than a simple miscommunication that really hurts someone’s feelings. Do not ask to “hang sometime”. Formally and officially ask them out on a date. I guarantee they appreciate the gesture, even if they don’t like like you.

1. Have a plan in mind, but don’t compromise the adventure

This one is important. As a spontaneous girl who also suffers from anxiety, both of these are ridiculously attractive, take it from me. Dinner and a movie is a classic, but odds are it’s been done before. If that’s okay with you, odds are it’s pretty safe. If you want something that leaves her thinking about you nonstop, you can guarantee it with some personal, thoughtful plan. People want a date so great they can brag to their friends about you, with good reason. This is a great thing you can use to your advantage. If you know personal tidbits about them use it, I promise you’ll do great if you put the effort in your date will definitely notice.

2. Become a pro at listening AND conversation

The conversation should be 70% about them and 30% about you. If you listen well enough, you’ll never be short of stuff to talk about. It may be an instant chemistry or it may take a moment to warm up a shy heart. It’ll always be slightly awkward in the very beginning, so don’t let that bother you. Definitely do not overthink it, everything should be totally natural between the two of you. If you’re nervous maybe look up some genuine ice breakers beforehand. Conversation will flow in the end. Just don’t start off drinking heavily, unless you both are in which case absolutely go for it.

3. Laughter

Stories are almost always funnier than jokes. Unless you know for a fact she absolutely loves puns, then work that in if the moment allows.  It’s a cliché, but communication skills and a great sense of humor really are the sexiest qualities a person can possess. At the end of the day, as long as the person is laughing with you and not at you, you’re on to a winner.

4. Eating

Do not be a slob!!!!! I cannot emphasize this enough, especially on the first date. Choose something you love that’s safe and not super messy to eat. Nothing is a turn-off quite like the world’s grossest eater, unless of course she orders something equally gross to what you had in mind. Then you may have found your gross eating soulmate (bonus points: it means they feel totally comfortable around you already!)

5. Offer to pay

If you ask, most people define a date as a great memory where someone else pays for their food. People love saving money, but even more so they love to feel special. Let them know you appreciate time with them in a genuine way, a compliment perhaps too. I guarantee you get a smile if it’s going well.

6. Pick up on the signals, but only if they are actually there

With most people, flirting is not about being subtle. People watch (but not in a creepy way) to make sure you understand the clear line between being a decent human being and being totally into someone. If you’re looking for a kiss, let the moment present itself. It’s definitely one of those things you don’t ever want to force. It should be spontaneous and fun, just like the rest of the evening. If you’re looking for an opening to invite them to your place, be confident and make sure you don’t have a cheesy line right out of a bad sitcom (unless they love cheesy), a sincere line will do just fine. If you’re looking for an invitation to their place, they will usually just come right out and say it but sometimes if you’re dropping them off and there’s an obviously hesitant delay to leave, be bold so the moment doesn’t slip away.

7. Have a confidence and most important fun!

Confidence, even if it’s totally faked, is what makes someone stand out. Odds are it’s what got you that phone number in the first place, so you know it’s the way to go.