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Health & Fitness

Keeping It Casual: The Guide to Light Hearted Sex

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Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, a sex researcher, recently gave the TEDx talk “Is Casual Sex Bad for You?” because it’s become such a hot topic of debate. As they explain, there’s a trait known as sociosexual orientation, which measures how oriented a person is toward casual sex. The appeal is the low-risk sense of adventure with someone, without the fear of being too eager or getting rejected. So if you have a very unrestricted sociosexuality it means you want a lot of casual sex, without making a big deal out of it regardless of gender.


There are unsaid rules about keeping it casual though, such as:


  1. Keep it light and fun.
  2. Communicate clearly as equals and human beings.
  3. Agree on whether more friends with benefits are okay or out of the question before it even relevant.


While it may seem like a great way to explore a new level without the vulnerability of totally ruining a friendship, keep in mind that all good things must come to an end. Although that thought might be a downer, keeping it casual is a great way to feel desirable, confidence, free and adventurous since it’s pretty healthy as long as you can still be able to get real intimacy with someone when necessary.


Tips on not messing it up:


  1. The whoever cares less mentality is not the way to go, especially when it means bringing mind games into something fun.
  2. Make sure you feel at ease with this person, otherwise the sex will reflect it.
  3. No long phone calls, unless you both are interested in a real relationship.
  4. No ignoring each other, be frank and if anything changes at least you both know.
  5. No going out to brunch or meeting parents.


How do you ask someone to be your friend with benefits?
Definitely do not ask out of the blue, or send any unsolicited dick pics. Work it casually into the conversation in a natural, yet flirty way.